Thursday, December 31, 2015
Takers
Takers
In the dank, dark, lousy cells of your mind
Do you find from time-to-time a respite
Do you burn all the day
Do you hate all the night
or
Do you sometimes suffer from fright
Have you cried a tear that was not for show
Had a moment when you stubbed your toe
Was there ever a time when you did not lie
No, that would take effort - you would have to try
Your one of the mean ones
The takers - the spies
Stay away from me
You make me cry
db
2/18/2010
Tuesday, December 08, 2015
Vultures
Friday, November 13, 2015
perfect london bed
i dream of a perfect london bed in a room tight above a pub upon this bed hardly more than a cot lies a london man his head hides the pillow his feet dangle from the edge this london man large like a bear says to me with voice of honey gravel come my girl lay upon me tis plenty of room don tcha see I say no i dunna see even a spot left for me unsure trepid i climb aboard his chest his belly so deceptively soft warm i burrow snuggle find for my pillow a beard of curls thick strawberry red all is just right don't wake me you fools let me sleep forever on this perfect london bed
db
Wednesday, November 04, 2015
Amsterdam
I remember Amsterdam and the loft we shared. Just a bed and bath at the top of narrow stairs. Below us was that lovely bakery. I remember the smell of hot bread that would wake us before dawn. That smell still comforts me. Five days we had, five days to make love all night, wake, eat, love again. Surrounded in our blue smoke, we were the only world. Occasionally we would take the stairs down and mingle with the locals. I wonder if you ever think of that time so long ago. I choose to think you do.
I am back there now, hanging on your arm [and every word you say] as we walk along Jefferson Avenue. We liked to stop at the Blue Goose to share a treat. We would order way too much food and ask the waiter for a doggie bag and take it with us as we rushed back to our loft, because the only thing we really had a taste for was each other. We made love almost desperately as the days passed and they passed so damn quickly. We knew that our time was close. Somehow we both knew that this was magical and that we would never feel this passionately again. I never did. I really never loved like that again. I remember once clutching my stomach with an ache that went deep down to my core. I loved you so much that the thought of parting cut me deeply. The feeling was so real that I cried out loud and you asked what was wrong. I lied and told you I had stubbed my toe on the chair. I knew when the five days were over that we too would be over and I would never see you again.
Many years have passed since then and I know now that we will never be over. We are together now. Trapped in time exactly as we were then, the free-spirited boy who wrote silly songs and laughed at the world and the brown-eyed girl who still believed in time machines and soft purple dragons. We are there in Amsterdam again. It may have taken the glow of the wine to revive you, but I relish the memory as I walk the avenue holding your arm once more and it is real and I love you now as I loved you then. There is no ache this time, because I know you will never really leave me. I keep you hidden from my world. You are my secret, never to be shared.
Oh Amsterdam, you were once mine and I will always cherish you.
A couple of fellows we ran into.
Sunday, January 04, 2015
Glued Stuck
I can see the shadow of a hawk on the roof of the building across the way. I could see the bird itself if I would get up and walk closer to the window.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Niche
a little niche in my heart
chipped out long ago
a groove for him alone
tried to patch it closed
didn't try hard enough
left ragged and exposed
hope he will stay
know he needs to go
Wednesday, August 06, 2014
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Cocoon
I cocooned myself in delusion and reality has come and sat on me. I am suffocating in panic. I gasp...my eyes grow wide. I silently scream for help knowing the only help to come must come from me. I will dig deep to dredge up the warrior that I once was and I will battle once again.
db
Enjoy The Decemberists "Cocoon"
Monday, August 26, 2013
Collateral Damage
skills honed by experience
nails freshly sharpened
they bite and spew
entangled in this ugly game
one played for decades
caught in their cross-fire
gutted and bleeding
laid aside as collateral damage
they pause then continue
db
Thursday, February 09, 2012
My Ride With Raoul
The thickness of his black hair is freshly trimmed and straightened. I can tell that the slightest hint of moisture will cause soft baby curls to materialize and pop up all over his head. Presto Magico!
He holds himself erect, but not stiff. Confidant, he glances left and right with hardly a move. He silently and unknowingly offers security and control. I accept. I wonder what would happen if I reached up and touched that vein? I evade eye contact in the rear view mirror.
He brakes and turns toward me, I pay the fare. I glance at his name plate and say, "Nice ride, Raoul" and I tip him generously, after all, he has magical hair.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Scent of Yelapa
disjointed
db
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Glasgow
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
TO SOME I HAVE TALKED TO BY THE FIRE
by: William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)
- HILE I wrought out these fitful Danaan rhymes,
- My heart would brim with dreams about the times
- When we bent down above the fading coals
- And talked of the dark folk who live in souls
- Of passionate men, like bats in the dead trees;
- And of the wayward twilight companies
- Who sigh with mingled sorrow and content,
- Because their blossoming dreams have never bent
- Under the fruit of evil and of good:
- And of the embattled flaming multitude
- Who rise, wing above wing, flame above flame,
- And, like a storm, cry the Ineffable Name,
- And with the clashing of their sword-blades make
- A rapturous music, till the morning break
- And the white hush end all but the loud beat
- Of their long wings, the flash of their white feet.
"To Some I Have Talked With by the Fire" is reprinted from The Rose. W.B. Yeats. 1893. |
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Shop Talk
SHOPTALK
Users, losers.
Intentional abusers.
Why are you here?
Hating, abating.
Obviously waiting.
Why are you here?
To feed off the rest.
Ridicule - make jest.
I would like to send you out for repair.
Your tainted.
db original post 12-08-2001 Written in 1991
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Rise for the Scattered Day
rise and rise above the influences
rise above the questions, the degradations, the nuances
rise above the unnamed fears, the pains, the transgressions
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Dark World
DARK WORLD
I stepped into your dark world
Drank from your angry cup
I walked into your blackness
Now you must give me up
No longer will I close my eyes,
to your unholy hate
I will turn and walk away
For I know you are not my fate
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Vampire Lust (Ode to Lestat)
The heat from you is strong
I can smell your blood
I hear the sound as it pulses
I see the beat, the rhythm
I cannot help but take you
You feel my need, you sense
You come to me
I taste you slowly
Relish
You succumb, you become
We are one
Then I am gone
db
Saturday, March 13, 2010
pathetic
useless
no reason to be
kaleidoscope
i don't see
wounds
blinding me
drained
apathy
original post 12-08-2001 written 1993
This blog originated as "Ramblings of a Manic Depressive" I just wanted a place to keep these poems. It was private for a long time. It still feels strange to share them.
I found out there was a book by that name published in the 70's, so I had to change it.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
cornered
backed into the wall with no escape route
trapped by the times I didn't think
clutched by circumstances I don't own
breathless with anxiety my body tightly closing in
stopped cold by obligations debts owed to all
I want it to end I need it to stop
I scream in my mind
I have no where to go
my body has failed me my mind has escaped me
Will God help such a hapless soul?
db
Monday, December 21, 2009
Contributors
Contributors
You have all contributed to my demise.
When you took my love and returned no heart
you contributed.
When you turned on me and spewed me with your hate.
you contributed.
When you falsely accused me of what I would never conceive
you contributed.
When you used your children and threw them up
you contributed.
What you left behind is a fractured shell.
I attempt to rebound , to lift up my head.
Just empty eyes remain. The spirit is dead.
db
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Illusions
This is another from Ramblings. I am trying to write something fresh for next week. Something not so dark. We will see.
Illusions
How can I sit here pretending.
When I really want to scream.
How can I fake it.
The thought to me is obscene.
The daily act of living,
is too much sometimes to bear.
Maybe I could just smile and nod.
Let them think I care.
db
original post 12-08-2001
Saturday, December 05, 2009
It's Not That Easy To Die
It's Not That Easy To Die
Mama wouldn't like it if I left a mess.
People want to see your face when you are laid to rest.
I could try and hit the heart, but I might miss.
Way too much blood, if you go for the wrist.
Drugs might not be that easy to trace, but I don't want to die with vomit in my face.
I guess I'll give it another try.
It's not that easy to die.
db
original post 12-08-2001
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Wallbanger
Friday, October 16, 2009
I'm Nobody! Who Are You?
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Last Flowers - Radiohead Music Video
Lyrics:
Last Flowers
appliances have gone berserk
i cannot keep up
treading on people's toes
snot-nosed little punk
and i can't face the evening straight
you can offer me escape
houses move and houses speak
if you take me there you'll get relief, relief, relief, relief
and if i'm gonna talk
i just want to talk
please don't interrupt
just sit back and listen
cos i can't face the evening straight
you can offer me escape
houses move and houses speak
if you take me there you'll get relief, relief, relief, relief
relief, relief
it's too much, too bright, too powerful
too much, too bright, too powerful
too much, too bright, too powerful
too much, too bright, too powerful
Friday, August 07, 2009
Why Ask Why?
In our efforts to organise and ease our personal lives on earth, we have disorganised and caused unease in the universe. The longer I live the more I see how truly stupid and useless we are in the massive scheme of things and am even more confused by the question my brain continually asks, "Why are we here?" I do believe in God. I have been touched and assisted more than once, but that doesn't clear up any confusion, it just creates more questions. I know I will not find an answer to the big questions and it is best for my mental stability to not ask or think them.
It is so much easier to just wrap myself up in TV & books, lose myself in someone else's mind, but what if I am supposed to be doing something important and I am sitting and wasting away in front of a TV/computer or game when I am needed elsewhere. Is it too late?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Feeling Alright
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saul Bellow
Thursday, January 01, 2009
The Other Side of the Door
I hesitate before I open my bedroom door, but there is a need for coffee and the bathroom. My hand is on the knob. I take a breath that is more of a sigh. What will I find on the other side?
I hope I am wrong and today is a bright one, but more than likely, on the other side of the door, I will find dead and despondent eyes. A head that drops when I speak. A hand that wearily rises to block the eyes from seeing me. An action well practiced.
She will be sitting at the kitchen table , a pad full of numbers, stacks of overdue bills. The smell of an overflowing ashtray combining with the stench of despair. I can taste it. Chronic, chronic, chronic pain. snap, snarl, bite. Words are useless items when depression takes your sight.
It doesn't help to know that someone may be hesitating just outside my own bedroom door.
I turn and go back to my bed. Maybe I can hold off for just a moment more.
db
As Hope and Promise Fade - Chris Cornell
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Baby, I'm Back.
Something went wrong and my blog was in Japanese and my sign on wouldn't work. It started back when I started using my Google sign on. I couldn't fix it and I couldn't read it, so I just abandoned it. That wasn't very nice, aye?
I thought I would come by today and see what was happening and it is found it no longer in Japanese. Yay. I may have flirted with 360, MYSPACE and Facebook, but you are my original love. When I started blogging here, I wasn't sure what a blog was. It was new to me, but I loved having a place to put my poems and private thoughs down where no one could find them. I messed up when I went public, because I lost the freedom of knowing no one you know could know the private stuff. Did I use the word "know " enough in that sentence? I don't really need the hiding place so much. I am in a lighter place now.
The Thanksgiving holiday was especially nice this year, very little drama and the meal was perfection. I am glad. The kids are all becoming teenagers this year, so it ought to be a fun next few years. (Hide me) I added a pic from the jibjab I made them. I will add the video now that this baby is cooperating with me again.
Dark Side, I Love you, miss you and will be back soon. I promise.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Castles Burning
I was only seventeen when I had my daughter. I was single with no qualifications and I had no idea what I was going to do. I heard the line "Don't let it bring you down, it's only castles burning, just find someone whos turning and you will come around" and I roused myself and took a step forward. I walked a long way.
There have been other times when I needed to hear the line again and it helped. I think I need to hear it today.
Neil Young. 1971
Don't Let It Bring You Down
Old man lying by the side of the road
With the lorries rolling by,
Blue moon sinking from the weight of the load
And the building scrape the sky,
Cold wind ripping down the allay at dawn
And the morning paper flies,
Dead man lying by the side of the road
With the daylight in his eyes.
Don't let it bring you down
It's only castles burning,
Find someone who's turning
And you will come around.
Blind man running through the light of the night
With an answer in his hand,
Come on down to the river of sight
And you can really understand,
Red lights flashing through the window in the rain,
Can you hear the sirens moan?
White cane lying in a gutter in the lane,
If you're walking home alone.
Don't let it bring you down
It's only castles burning,
Just find someone who's turning
And you will come around.
Don't let it bring you down
It's only castles burning,
Just find someone who's turning
And you will come around.
[ www.azlyrics.com ]
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Bandit Won't Play With Me
Bandit won't play with me. Probably mad at all my blogging and tweeting. I thought I heard him placing a classified earlier. Overheard tip of convo., " right, no tech types, computers a no no."
Monday, April 09, 2007
THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD
Man Who Sold The World (videos below lyrics)
We passed upon the stairs,
We spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there
He said I was his friend
Which came as a surprise
I spoke into his eyes -- I thought you died alone
A long long time ago
Oh no, not me,
We never lost control,
You're face to face,
With the man who sold the world
I laughed and shook his hand,
I made my way back home,
I searched for form and land,
Years and years I roamed,
I gazed a gazely stare,
We walked a million hills -- I must have died alone,
A long long time ago.
Who knows, not me,
I never lost control,
You're face, to face,
With the man who sold the world.
David Bowie is the original!
Nirvana
Monday, January 08, 2007
To Be, Or Not To Be
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
Here are the lyrics and a link to the Rock Star performance! I hope you like as much as I do. Rockstar SuperNova and here are the Performance Videos. I would suggest you also watch all of Dilana's performances. She is riveting.
Soul Asylum
Runaway Train
Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
CHORUS
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it
CHORUS
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same
Monday, June 26, 2006
Ziggy Stardust
Sunday, May 21, 2006
The Arctic Is Melting Video
An Inconvenient Truth - The Arctic Is Melting (2006)
The story of former Vice President Al Gore's crusade to bring greater knowledge of global warming to the world at large.
35 sec
Fruit Can Be Beautiful and Destructive. New Video
Tango Clear (2006)A soft drink company in England creates a brilliantly fruit-flavored homage to the popular Sony Bravia spot.1 min 2 sec
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Chris Daughtry - Two More Good Ones!
Hemorrhage
Fuel
Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters ’till the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was there something you left behind?
Don’t you remember anything I said when I said
Don’t fall away, and leave me to myself
Don’t fall away and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding
Oh hold me now I feel contagious
Am I the only place that you’ve left to go
She cries her life is like
Some movie black and white
Dead actors faking lines
Over and over and over again she cries
Don’t fall away, and leave me to myself
Dont fall away, and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding
And I wanted
You turned away
You don’t remember, but I do
You never even tried
Don’t fall away and leave me to myself
Don’t fall away and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding